23 April 2020, by Eileen

There are instances when our kids might not behave exactly how we want. It is often seen that many parents struggle with the embarrassment of children throwing temper tantrums in public or not listening in a restaurant. Let us discuss different methods to get your child to listen and behave when they are repeatedly acting out. You first need to separate all of your child’s behaviours into two categories, if you want your child to behave well. These are ‘start behaviours ‘ and ‘stop behaviours’. A great way to do this is to have a family meeting and discuss the behaviours that constantly waste your day.

Start behaviours are the things you wish your child would start doing. These are the behaviours that parents want to motivate– but instead tend to punish. One example of a ‘start’ behaviour is when you want your child to start getting in the car quickly. Try using incentives, when trying to get your child to listen in this situation, — such as a sticker or a piece of gum. This form of positive reinforcement will help your child learn good behaviour. It’s important to note, though, that this method of using incentives to get your child to behave is only effective once the “start” behaviour has been exhibited. The reward should be withheld until the seatbelt clicks, in the example of motivating your child to get in the car quickly.


Stop behaviours are things you wish your children would stop doing. Typically, parents are better at recognizing stop behaviours. Do you want to know how you can get your child to listen by using the counting method? This can be broken down into three parts:

  1. Give your child time to process information.
  2. Allow your child an opportunity to change their behaviour.
  3. Impose an immediate consequence if the repeated behaviour is continued.

It’s important to stay consistent and motivated when trying to change your child’s behaviour. It is also commonly seen that our kids don’t listen to us until after we’ve asked them 10 times and resort to yelling. While we are training them, they are teaching us back. Don’t yell at your children, especially don’t yell at them in public. Their minds aren’t fully formed, and anything they do “wrong” is a result of your parenting.

Try to provide a healthy example for them with gentle behaviour. They never asked to be born and have no choice but to be around you. If you can’t handle having children, don’t have them. But there are certain circumstances where you can yell at them; if a kid is about to run into danger, like about to run into a swimming pool, or run into the street when a car is coming. But then you don’t yell like “you stupid child, get out” just yell “danger, watch out” or something like that. Talk to your children nicely and they’ll respond the same. And when they grow up they will treasure you.